tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3665024310226232692024-03-05T07:51:46.654-08:00The Fire of the Mind Agitates the AtmosphereNot Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.comBlogger69125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-68374552125881663162015-03-02T18:13:00.002-08:002015-03-02T18:16:54.060-08:00"Unlike pain, sickness is not always negotiable."I love my co-workers. I absolutely adore them (except for those times when they drive me insane. Which happens a lot. Which happens, <a href="http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html" target="_blank">Alot</a>. )<br />
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The thing is, most of them are male, which has given me an interesting perspective on male/female gender dynamics in, to use the colloquial hipness of the time "a STEM field." Archaeology is a field-based science. I was going to qualify that sentence, but all physical archaeological evidence ever collected had to come from somewhere, and that "somewhere" was probably more "the middle of nowhere, under a bunch of dirt." The point is, it forces you to interact with nature, which in many ways requires you to strip off all the bullshit and just go out there and do some good science. Science that will probably eventually also involve some amount of alcohol (but if you don't drink, that's totally cool. It's awesome having sober people around because then they can call you on your drunk shit. As scientists, I assume we all understand the importance of a good baseline and as anthropologists we should also recognize that our sober behaviors tend towards the "drunk shit" of many people.)</div>
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That wasn't the point at all. I was going to talk about gender dynamics. That'll have to wait, because I've already taken far too long writing this and should really be doing my organic chemistry. </div>
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Be Seeing You</div>
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P.S. I got rejected from the Mercyhurst program, so I won't be moving to Erie, PA any time soon. </div>
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Not Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-44373554865771985882014-10-01T13:43:00.000-07:002014-10-01T13:44:57.746-07:00Dealing With Large Mammalian PredatorsThere was a <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/23/nyregion/black-bear-kills-rutgers-student-during-a-hike-in-new-jersey.html?_r=0" target="_blank">tragic incident</a> lately involving human-predator relations.<br />
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No one had to die in this situation. NO ONE. Not the student, not the bear.<br />
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Here's the problem:<br />
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By the early 20th century, many large mammalian predators on the east coast of the United States, were almost completely (and in some cases, totally) exterminated by human expansion (habitat loss) and hunting. Only now are populations finally starting to recover. Because of this, the number of human-animal interactions will continue to increase.<br />
Unfortunately, the history of absence means that the potential for dealing with large mammalian predators is a new concept for some people, and apparently people don't know how to react. With that in mind, I offer a list of guidelines for dealing with large mammals that might eat you.<br />
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There is, of course, always the possibility that the animal is stalking you and your behaviors will not significantly affect its actions. On the other hand, it may not be, and you should do your damnedest to keep it that way.<br />
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<u>Disclaimer</u>: I am not a wildlife behavior specialist. My qualifications are simply that I was raised by ecologists in an environment where encountering a mountain lion or bear is always a possibility. Also, these guidelines don't always apply to every situation.<br />
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HOW TO DEAL WITH A LARGE MAMMALIAN PREDATOR:<br />
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1. DO NOT RUN.<br />
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2. Do NOT run.<br />
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3. Do not run. Running will trigger the animal's hunting instinct. The animal might just be curious about you and not interested in attacking. However, if you act like prey and run the opposite direction, it will chase you like prey. Back away slowly: yes. Run: NO.<br />
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4. Don't split up. If you split up this will not "confuse" the animal. The animal will just choose one prey item (person) to follow. Multiple little wimpy humans against a big predator will have a better chance than just one wimpy human against a big predator.<br />
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5. There are many other things you should do like "make yourself seem as large as possible"(raise your arms) "make loud sounds", "minimize eye-contact", and "if attacked, fight back".<br />
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6. If there are cubs involved, shit is serious. Do your absolute best to NOT get between the mother and the cubs.<br />
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7. If you're being stalked or attacked by a brown bear (Grizzly) or a polar bear, you're pretty much fucked, but you still shouldn't run because that'll only make it an absolute sure thing.<br />
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I encountered<a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/rutgers-student-provoke-bear-fatal-mauling-cops-article-1.1958796" target="_blank"> another article </a>about the incident:<br />
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I disagree, Daily News. I fully believe that the students did not antagonize or harass the bear in any way, but they did provoke it. They acted in a manner pretty much guaranteed to provoke chase and attack.<br />
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Be Seeing You.Not Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-45015421573864928222014-03-17T22:37:00.000-07:002014-03-17T22:37:17.719-07:00Zero for OneI got rejected from the Chico Master's program. I'm trying not to be down about this. I recognize that failure is one of the best ways to learn things, but I wish I didn't get the opportunity quite so often in regards to my academic career. I'm actually a little surprised. I was pretty sure that I was going to be accepted.<br />
I'm giving a presentation this weekend at the <a href="http://scahome.org/" target="_blank">Society for California Archaeology</a> (SCA) conference. Not to be confused with the <a href="http://www.sca.org/" target="_blank">Society for Creative Anachronisms</a> (SCA) con. Except apparently some people do make that mistake. I will be wearing my Star Trek uniform to the Silent Auction event that's apparently the big social do. Drunk archaeologists are pretty easy to confuse. I'm quite excited.<br />
My presentation is about quantifying taphonomic conditions. Specifically, how one might describe the people at <a href="http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_23453636/san-jose-hospital-potters-cemetery-forgotten-graves" target="_blank">VMC </a>in a scientifically rigorous manner. Working to put together a quantification system would make a pretty good Master's project. TOO BAD!<br />
Oh, right: I'm presenting as part of a symposium on the Santa Clara County Valley Medical Center Potter's Field. Our moderator is Chico faculty and a member of the board that rejected me. Now I really have extra incentive to be AWESOME because I won't be applying there again, and I'm not above being a bit of an asshole and mocking their decision. I'm disappointed, but I also feel that it's their loss. I mean, the guys at Foothill can attest that I'd be an asset to any program, and all the archaeologists I've worked with can speak to my field experience and lab skills. I mean, I've fucking run field labs. Also there's that little matter of my Criminal Justice training. And the fact that I was involved in a mass cemetery exhumation with an MNI of 1000+. I don't know what more you people want.<br />
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If I don't get into Indianapolis, my plans are:<br />
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1) stalk Steven Nawrocki (UIndy)<br />
2) stalk James Pokines (BU)<br />
3) stalk David O. Carter (Chaminade University)<br />
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In terms of employment, I will look into jobs as an autopsy technician and/or crime scene cleaner. I'm leaning toward crime scene cleaning if only because it utterly repulses my mom. This is not as easy as it may sound. She's has no problems with the autopsy idea. Crime scene cleaning would require physical labor, which would be nice.<br />
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Right now though, I have to get through the next two weeks. Things that are happening:<br />
3/19: Cultures of North America potluck. I'm bringing polenta (w/ sunflower seeds) & maple syrup. Also a salad of Miner's Lettuce. Then I have to practice my presentation.<br />
3/20: Spanish final oral exam. I still haven't come up with the story I'll be recounting. Should be studying Spanish rather than typing on a blog right now.<br />
[3/20-23]: Travel to lovely Visalia for the conference.<br />
3/26: Final exam for NA cultures<br />
3/27: Spanish final<br />
3/29: Huge fucking garden party at my house.<br />
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And I still need to figure out the samosas.<br />
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Be Seeing You.Not Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-30456173875125792432014-03-14T20:50:00.000-07:002014-03-14T20:50:52.355-07:00π Day I brought two mini pies to lab today. Also I forced everyone to watch Hard'n'Phirm's <a href="http://keithschofield.com/pi/std.html" target="_blank">Pi song</a>. Halfway through, one of the students cried, "I have so many questions right now!" ...and that was before the guy in the Mexican wrestling mask showed up. It was pretty magical to watch them go through the same process of WHAT THE FUUUUUCK?????!!!! that I felt upon first seeing that video. It was a formative part of my college experience & I was glad I could share that same wonder with them. I've seen it so many times that it looks normal to me, so it was delightful to remember just how utterly bizarre it is. Also I told them that if they listened to it for 6 hours straight on repeat, they too could learn π to over 30 digits.<br />
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The previous Friday, a student had been asking about the effect of fire on bone. Today I brought in two books on taphonomy that addressed that and showed him the sections to read.<br />
Me: "Oh, I should probably mention that these books contain the worst of humanity."<br />
Him: "Uhhh...."<br />
Then I explained that the skull on the front of a the book was an example of what happens during <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Necklacing" target="_blank">necklacing.</a> I didn't need to explain any more after that.<br />
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<br />Not Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-56254978152946211052014-03-12T02:33:00.001-07:002014-03-12T02:34:58.034-07:00There Must be an Internet Rule for This.Anytime anyone posts a picture like this:<br />
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on a social media network, sooner or later some asshole will leave a comment that just says "Beautiful."</div>
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Yeah. I get it. You're deeply moved by the profound beauty of the cycle of existence and this practice of active reintegration of the human body into the food web. I mean, California Sky Burial is my dream disposal, so I'm with you on the incredibleness. Also those vultures swooping in are pretty majestic and the shot <i>is</i> very nicely composed. Plus, the butchering job is beautifully skilled. However, I think it's important to recognize that this is a picture of VULTURES FEEDING ON A CORPSE. A HUMAN CORPSE, no less. I can think of several different ways to describe vultures feeding on meat, but "beautiful" is not first among them.<br />
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Just writing "beautiful" and nothing else guarantees that I'm going to assume you want to sound profound and all in touch with the "darker side of nature" and shit but you'd tuck tail and run at the first scent of death.<br />
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I mean "scent of death" in the most literal fashion. The guy in the picture is quite fresh, so you'd not necessarily get any decomp smells, but raw meat/blood is not particularly the most appealing odor.<br />
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Yes I'm a death snob. Stop trying to glamorize death, people. Death is about as non-glamorous as you can get. It's messy and smelly and ridiculous. Also, it's not very exclusive. Death just lets EVERYONE into the club.<br />
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Be SEeing you.<br />
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<br />Not Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-23252303984973579102014-03-04T23:57:00.001-08:002014-03-04T23:57:13.412-08:00Cramming Information Into My BrainIt's good to stick poetry into textbooks. Provides brain relief<br />
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My breath, I have it here<br />
My bones, I have them here<br />
My flesh, I have it here<br />
With it I seek you,<br />
With it I find you,<br />
But speak to me<br />
Say something nice to me.<br />
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(Nineteenth-century Aleut love song)<br />
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<br />Not Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-36457553804470154872013-08-28T18:22:00.000-07:002013-11-29T22:40:40.597-08:00<a href="http://www.theironsamurai.com/2011/07/16/managing-depression-with-weightlifting-or-how-you-feel-is-a-lie/">http://www.theironsamurai.com/2011/07/16/managing-depression-with-weightlifting-or-how-you-feel-is-a-lie/</a><br />
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One of my many unused book titles is "Moving Holes". The obnoxious explanatory extra title component would be ":Growing Up Zen Buddhist in America. Olympic weightlifting isn't my style. I am more used to moving holes around. Note that this is different from digging a hole and completing it immediately. It's building a small stone wall and being told it needs to be moved six inches.Not Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-5667562691432018502013-08-16T21:24:00.000-07:002013-08-16T21:25:36.512-07:00First you're out on a hillside...I was organizing my compy files and re-encountered some favorite memes. I feel they really describe my life.<br />
I've curated them for your viewing pleasure. And by "curate" I actually mean "decided to dump them all here"<br />
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Not Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-21620121295587961462013-02-17T15:24:00.000-08:002013-02-17T15:27:04.581-08:00Knives, Guns, Woodchippers, and More: Trauma Interpretation in Our Nation's CapitalI'm in Washington D.C. for the annual conference of the American Academy of Forensic Sciences. It's a professional/scientific conference that features papers with titles like, "Unusual Suicides Utilizing Chainsaws..." ....which implies this is a thing rather than an isolated incident. That's totally on my list of talks to attend even though it's at 8:30am. The 8:45am slot in that session features "Accidental Injury Caused by a Handheld Circular Saw: An Unusual Industrial Accident," followed by "Circular Saw: No Enigma?" Other talks I'm interested in going to include, "Bone and Body Part Deposition in Rivers: Where to Look for the Rest of the Body," "Who Let the Dogs In? The Admissibility and Scope of Testimony of Dog Handlers," "A Comparative Study of the Effect of Four Loko alcoholic Beverages and Other Alcoholic Beverages on Inexperienced Drinkers" [one of my co-workers noted that they hoped the talk was simply a slide that said BAD IDEA], "A Unique Cause of Death in a Double Hot Tub Fatality: Electrocution by Implantable Cardioverter Defibrillator," "The Juvenile Psychopath: How Young Can We Diagnose Psychopathy and Is This Even Helpful or Ethical?" and "The Continuing Journey of the Mortal Remains of St. Damien: the 'Leper Priest of Molokai'." This is only a small selection of the talks I'm considering attending, and there are a number that I'm curious about simply because of the titles. For example, I have no idea what "Till Death Do We Dye?" is about beyond the fact that it's under the Pathology/Biology heading and part of a session titled 'Thank You for Smoking- Department of Health and Human Services: Autopsies' and is doubtless some horribly awesome pun relating to the subject of the talk. <br />
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There are a bunch of posters that I'm planning on checking out as well. They include, "A Peculiar Case of a Perineal Injury Miming Sexual Abuse in a Child Run Over by a SUV," "Persistence of Volatile Organic Compounds Associated With Human Decomposition on Carpet Samples," [aka: Holy shit the smell of death is tenacious and sticks around on fabric FOREVER] "Some Like it Extra Dry: Specific Skeletonization Patterns Due to Larder Beetles," "Effect of Concealment on Necrophagous Flies Access," and "Quantification of Color Changes in Human Decomposition Using Image Processing Software." [Color changes on a rotting body?! I'm sure there'll be pretty slides for that talk!] I'm not attending any of the special workshops or breakfast sessions, but they too have fabulous titles like, "The Thomas A. Krauss Memorial Bitemark Breakfast" and "How to Write Bestselling Novels and Screenplays in Your Spare Time." [I am not making this up, guys. Kathy Reichs is one of the speakers on that one. IN YOUR SPARE TIME. Because why would anyone want to stop looking at dead people as a main job?] I also haven't made any particular effort to include some of the punnier titles in this rundown. There's one about soil trace evidence that involves the phrase "Getting the Dirt on the Suspect," and a review of friggin' EIGHT cases appropriately titled "Overkill..."<br />
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Clearly I have found my people. In addition to the awesomeness of this upcoming conference, the delightfulness of my visit here is also enhanced by the fact that I'm lurking on the couch of one of my good friends from college, and at some point we will be going out in public both dressed in our Star Trek uniforms. That really tells you all you need to know about our friendship and her personality right there. I'm taking a two-week vacation from work which is good for everybody: I get to take a break and everyone else gets to figure out how to run the lab in my absence. I'm sure they'll be fine.....and if I tell myself that enough, I might even begin to believe it.<br />
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The funny thing about all of this awesomeness is that the last time I spent an extended period of time in D.C. was on our eighth grade class trip here, which ranked as one of the low points for my adolescent psyche. By that point in the year all my school friends had rejected me (without saying a word because that's how middle school girls roll) and I was pretty much at the very bottom of the social totem pole. I was already chemically predisposed towards depression and had exhibited some signs before the rejection, but the sudden switch to being a social outcast tipped me completely over the edge (particularly since my 'friends' included the girl who had been my best friend for the previous five years). Naturally, I had no one to sit with on the plane, on the bus, or to room with, and was essentially used as a filler for spots everyone else had rejected because the other individuals involved were also social outcasts. Being the 12-year old idiot that I was, I still disdained these people for being 'uncool' and bemoaned my fate at the forced association. I spent the majority of our time at the hotel hiding in the bathroom (which in retrospect is doubly stupid because one the girls I was rooming with ended up being one of my closest friends later on...and a guy I was at a table with for our dinner theater thingy is one of the few people from high school that I see on even a semi-regular basis), and I spent the majority of our bus rides drawing pictures in my sketch pad so melodramatic that I'm kind of shocked no one forced me into counseling or anything; these drawings were so unsubtle that I later found out the boy who borrowed my sketch pad on that trip went to the office at school and asked if I was okay. If I were at home, I'd scan some of my amazing drawings and include them here, but I'm not. Maybe I'll remember to do so later. Anyway, if I had packed some disposable razors or figured out how to get them from the hotel, I probably would have started cutting there and then rather than waiting a year or so to develop that little habit.<br />
<br />
I have a group photo from that trip of us all standing on this bank of stairs next to the Lincoln Memorial (and because fate is evil, I was standing right next to my arch-nemesis/ worst tormentor...sometime that year, that little fucker put gum in my hair....though then he made the mistake of following behind me & taunting me on the way to an assembly and I snapped and spun and thwaped him in the forehead with the heel of my hand, martial arts style...it didn't occur to me at the time, but apparently word got out around school that I had punched him in the face, which was technically true, but of course he couldn't get me in trouble for it because I was just a lowly socially outcast girl and that would be embarrassing for him...generally I don't approve of myself committing physical violence, but I can't summon any regret for that one). Anyway, last week on the taxi ride from the airport to my friend's apartment, we passed those stairs and I suddenly remembered just how shitty I felt on that trip. Then I experienced a wave of self-satisfied smugness because I KNOW that no matter what it is any of my former friends ended up doing with their lives, there is no way their jobs can possibly be as awesome as mine. I mean, Forensic Sciences are portrayed in the popular media in a manner that's not at all accurate in terms of glamour and sexiness and frequency of gunplay and actual sciency stuff, but the one thing all those portrayals do get right is the amazing awesomeness of forensic theory and analysis.<br />
<br />
In many ways, the career I have chosen centers on confronting the darkest aspects of humanity. By the very nature of the profession, forensic taphonomy generally deals with the aftermath of the very worst humanity has to offer. With the exception of mass disasters, the appearance of decomping humans or parts thereof usually involves violent human agency. I mean, one of the posters in the Pathology/Biology section of this conference is straight up titled, "When Sadistic Fantasies Are Turned Into Reality." Even in non-violent deaths, if a forensic taphonomist is called in, it likely means sad circumstances; there's a certain pathos in someone whose death is not noted until their neighbors notice the smell.<br />
<br />
Though the darkness and violence in my own brain was always directed inward rather than outward, it was a darkness nonetheless. I distinctly recall understanding why those boys at Columbine felt violence was a logical course of action; I considered the slaughter of others a supremely selfish act and certainly never condoned it, but I did empathize with that feeling of being emotionally stripped to the core to the point where death becomes an appealing option. Unlike those boys, I had friends and family ties that kept me from ever crossing that line, but in given circumstances, we are all capable of horrific violence.<br />
It's interesting for me to consider that the last time I was here, my brain was steeped in darkness, whereas now I'm here to advance a career that confronts and studies it. I'm sure there's some sort of deep psychological analysis that could go on, but this post is already excessively long and I don't really feel like getting into that shit.<br />
<br />
This is the part in the post where I should write a conclusion that wraps up everything I talked about and connects all the dots and makes all this rambling coherent, but you know what? If you want logical, polished writing like that, you shouldn't have started reading this post in the first place. HA HA!!!! (I probably should have included that disclaimer at the beginning, but TOO BAD, SUCKERS!!!)<br />
<br />
Be Seeing YouNot Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-78008301404521291772012-12-17T16:05:00.001-08:002012-12-17T16:05:28.212-08:00Probably not coming to a Hallmark near you (maybe an Urban Outfitters)I feel like I have had an unfair advantage over most people in terms of dealing with the Sandy Hook killings. See, for the last few weeks I've been reading <a href="http://atheism.about.com/od/bookreviews/fr/BecomingEvil.htm" target="_blank">a book on genocide</a>. Unlike the review that links to, I would not list "none" under "Cons," but it's nice synthesis/survey of the general topic. I feel like it should have been released by the Journal of Obvious Results' publishing house, but that doesn't mean it isn't interesting or informative. Actually, prior to reading <u>Becoming Evil</u>, I read <a href="http://sccl.bibliocommons.com/item/show/1452773016_genocide" target="_blank">this</a> (which is far better than the cover would suggest...though that is pretty much the most awesome cover ever. CONTROVERSY!) Consequently, I was really already on a roll with the "thinking about the massacre of children" train.<br />
<br />
Also, last week I skinned out a wild pig (several, actually, but I only did one mostly by myself ), dressed her in clothing, beat her 34 times with a length of rebar (I wanted to inflict damage on the bones, and managing to do that on a dead pig that's still covered in all her piggy-ness is NOT AS EASY AS YOU THINK), and buried her in a shallow grave. The highlight of my day was when the retired Homicide Investigator who was giving me tips on skinning the pig asked, "Am I training a serial killer?" I assured him that if I had learned one thing from studying forensic science, it's that being a serial killer who doesn't get caught is WAY too much work for me to ever consider it. <br />
<br />
For a while now I've been working on an art project I call the "Massacre-A-Day" calendar. The idea is in the vein of those "Inspirational Quote A Day" desk calendar things you see, but instead of your daily origami animal, you get a massacre that happened on that day. The idea came to me last year when there was a particularly big outpouring of sentiment over the 10 year anniversary of September 11. I wondered how many people comprehended that it was not a unique event. That I could probably find at LEAST one recorded civilian massacre for every day in the year. Bam. Massacre-A-Day. I haven't been actively researching for it. I figure that given my line of work/study, the information will eventually find its way to me. <br />
<br />
When I found out about the shooting, one of my first thoughts was simply, "this gets a day."Not Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-13500098762794905652012-11-17T23:12:00.001-08:002012-11-17T23:25:58.897-08:00Anatomy of a Fake Geek Girl (aka Hipster Geekin’ It)<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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So it seems that the inane discussion of “<a href="http://whatever.scalzi.com/2012/07/27/followup-for-geek/" target="_blank">fake geek girls</a>”
(known to locals as tidoffg or “Fgg”) has risen once again from the gloopy,
gloppy, murky, mucky waters of the nerd loch. As an individual who lives in the
muck (denizens also include illustrious figures like “the idiotic debate about
nerd/geek/dork titles”), I’m getting annoyed at the repeated turbation enough
to overcome my innate lazy nature and add my own swamp-gas bubbles to the
tumult in the vain hope that possibly my small contribution will make the
stench so utterly repulsive that people will back off and leave us swamp
monsters alone. <o:p></o:p></div>
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One afternoon, Fgg and I were huddled over some decomposing
hagfish and I asked her to show me the worst example of a fake geek girl that’d
ever grown from a glorpy glob of her skimey muck. I have to admit, it was
pretty bad.</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyMXmxGXeDD6vZtO3dJuNAvo43_53l8R3e6tYjcBtWjOzWg6pF4i00yBi9aOpCdxxS8DBGsYMClt6TB_vgXMbcu8F7ggO6tONssBKddRRXkD8mgxUSAJdTSMahy2zY-mFLtVRra4koHaCC/s1600/Number6_2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyMXmxGXeDD6vZtO3dJuNAvo43_53l8R3e6tYjcBtWjOzWg6pF4i00yBi9aOpCdxxS8DBGsYMClt6TB_vgXMbcu8F7ggO6tONssBKddRRXkD8mgxUSAJdTSMahy2zY-mFLtVRra4koHaCC/s640/Number6_2.JPG" width="478" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pay no attention to the Halloween decorations</td></tr>
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For those of you who would argue that this is not a slutty
enough costume to warrant derision, need I point out that not only is this
hussy flaunting her ankles, her KNEES are showing?!!!! AND her clavicles!!!!
Plus, this picture doesn’t showcase the posterior aspect. Plus, she straight
out admitted to me that she wasn’t wearing as much makeup as she probably
would at a Con. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Me: “What are you dressed as?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Her: “I’m dressed as <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Number_Six_(Battlestar_Galactica)" target="_blank">Six</a>.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Me: “Um….how many episodes of Battlestar Galactica have you
actually watched?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Her: “Four or five.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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No wonder. I mean, Six NEVER wore a jacket like that, and
why bother bleaching your hair if you’re not even going to style it right, and
WHAT is with those shoes?<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI3K-qlwgV7g0vwtgDNga3MJi-FfQXaekJCJNF7gn5OlV2M72JKEuuFE_RIEFBLZVL2W3hTUnoQs3hjknO6fOuB4HHUPApYHKT0sjGD-_YSDP79mF78MzP3GwTqa3zmZWMMB9odmTXq9GS/s1600/Number6shoes.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI3K-qlwgV7g0vwtgDNga3MJi-FfQXaekJCJNF7gn5OlV2M72JKEuuFE_RIEFBLZVL2W3hTUnoQs3hjknO6fOuB4HHUPApYHKT0sjGD-_YSDP79mF78MzP3GwTqa3zmZWMMB9odmTXq9GS/s400/Number6shoes.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">5 inch Deck Shoes? WTF?</td></tr>
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Obviously this girl was a Fake Geek Girl who didn’t care
about canon at ALL and was just hanging around trying to look sexy and pick up
boys. Or feed off their lascivious attention. Or something something legitimate
rape.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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The incriminating evidence only got worse the longer I
talked to her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The only
video/computer games she’s ever really played are Diablo II because (and I
quote) her “boyfriend bought it for [her],” and she “once played Goldeneye for
five hours.” She also mentioned some other things with made up names like
<a href="http://www.sticksoftware.com/archive/Solarian.html" target="_blank">Solarian</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loom_(video_game)" target="_blank">Loom</a>, but I’m pretty sure those don’t actually exist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She freely admitted she’d never played
Zelda. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Her knowledge of comics wasn’t any better. Almost everything
she knows about the DC and Marvel universes is either from her friends in
college or movies or Wikipedia.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She had the audacity to try and fob me off with Classics Illustrated or
Scrooge McDuck. He was in DuckTales, right? That’s not comic books, you dumb
bitch! Speaking of books, she’s never actually sat down and read all of
Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>What a poser.</div>
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I wish I were good enough at Photoshop to make a “<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Number_Six_(The_Prisoner)" target="_blank">Number Six</a>
is not impressed” image. You’ll just have to imagine it.</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrZUtu7jGIUom-fXNFHHtthQDRfgzTpV3v-FD8oAWJIbJCq3uLPEJl6KGYxOyebGs9QWxHoYtmt_Mk7MY1HIXYtRgwBFehLGIkpV7z05xX3axaHqQDWUUTDT08p_i_g5scmd5h-VrvBidB/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-01-07+at+8.01.39+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="162" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrZUtu7jGIUom-fXNFHHtthQDRfgzTpV3v-FD8oAWJIbJCq3uLPEJl6KGYxOyebGs9QWxHoYtmt_Mk7MY1HIXYtRgwBFehLGIkpV7z05xX3axaHqQDWUUTDT08p_i_g5scmd5h-VrvBidB/s400/Screen+shot+2012-01-07+at+8.01.39+PM.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">NEITHER Number Six is impressed</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgceTzXe5HgR10m4xR68ctxRvVoFGpyajqdq_kt2MqdQYjD1h5MYulvS8BaDT3RO4kukKWv4x-2eusI9ZvIz46U0usAGFcNHg_07PKs7Ix0YSwJCbCoSJ-rSlLxcWOm8GIklRrjtYxf7K_5/s1600/Number6_ghosts.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgceTzXe5HgR10m4xR68ctxRvVoFGpyajqdq_kt2MqdQYjD1h5MYulvS8BaDT3RO4kukKWv4x-2eusI9ZvIz46U0usAGFcNHg_07PKs7Ix0YSwJCbCoSJ-rSlLxcWOm8GIklRrjtYxf7K_5/s400/Number6_ghosts.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
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Be Seeing You.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--EndFragment-->Not Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-35151144584350367042012-10-16T20:23:00.000-07:002012-10-16T20:23:14.227-07:00Actual Thing I Actually Said My mom was telling me about some NOVA special on <a href="http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/tech/forensics-on-trial.html">Forensics in a state of crisis!!!!</a><br />
<br />
Me: "Well, after crisis happens, then comes collapse, and that's when the decomposers come in. I'm playing the long game here, mom."Not Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-12040329977919472062012-07-25T18:28:00.000-07:002017-02-23T23:05:20.313-08:00Closer to HarrisburgThey sell mate in bottles. I can't believe this stuff is legal.<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5SPccycmz0ydnVVI8t84_nvKxBwCdHNjBkHA2X2iGHiESPmtWUlHmCTUdvLf18kM9x4sOzh8HxPclSdtKCpyfzlTKPDwvlX3SnYeB0K607sdvjZPpUNXGFOkvWIg_SaMpQFaz2sxy9MBw/s1600/Photo+on+2012-07-25+at+17.00.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5SPccycmz0ydnVVI8t84_nvKxBwCdHNjBkHA2X2iGHiESPmtWUlHmCTUdvLf18kM9x4sOzh8HxPclSdtKCpyfzlTKPDwvlX3SnYeB0K607sdvjZPpUNXGFOkvWIg_SaMpQFaz2sxy9MBw/s320/Photo+on+2012-07-25+at+17.00.jpg" width="320" /></a>That shirt was designed by Chris, the same friend who made the hat I'm wearing. It's the logo for her Roller Derby scrimmage team. I finally went to see her play last Friday. Or something...I don't really remember. I was mostly asleep because I'd already been out in the field for two days by that point and I was (and still am) only barely staying ahead of artifact inflow. I was tired. On the plus side, Chris' mom had made popcorn balls to sell & it turned out that they were the PERFECT field food. They use peanut butter as the lipid rather than regular butter, so it's like a punch in the face of quick energy, and it won't spoil if you leave it in your car in the sun. PLUS it has protein!!! I got really excited and ended up purchasing a total of something like 12 of them. Now, I admit that I may have consumed four of those in quick succession....make your own judgement. However, I was not ridiculously stoned as everybody proceeded to think I was. My insane excitement over finding a fab field food was not helping my case.<br />
<br />
I don't remember if I mentioned on here that for the month of July I am running the field lab for the Foothill College Local Archaeology field school. Actually, I'm employed as a general factotum for the guy who's subcontracted the dig and my job isn't going to end when the field school does, and it's easiest to just refer to myself as "the lab". It's complicated. My ability to follow a line of reasoning like that is pretty much the reason I have my job.<br />
<br />
Be Seeing You<br />
<br />
<u>Boil Update:</u><br />
<br />
This weekend at the site, I was off on a jaunt (aka "going out to survey potential datums for the total station") [we will not address the confusing use of "datum" here. In short, when using the laser theodolite (that's the other name for a Total Station) one speaks of data points as "points" and the origin is the "datum."]with two of my students. The hilarity of the hike is worth another post entirely, but suffice to say that we all learned something. And we did find a beautiful point that has incredible line-of-sight. You know what else is confusing? We're mostly digging up the remains from the production of projectile points, and we tend to refer to the finished pieces as just "points". WHY MUST EVERYTHING HAVE THE SAME NAME, BRUCE?!<br />
<br />
Anyway, early on in the adventure we encountered some surprisingly fresh coyote droppings surrounded by distinct tufts of hair and containing chunks of a skull and a mandible.<br />
<br />
Student: "That looks like rabbit hair."<br />
<br />
My Brain: "If we can see the cheek-bones [that's not what they're called, but I'm not going to use words like "rostrum" here] of this thing, if it IS a bunny, they should be lacy-looking (technical term is "highly fenestrated". "Fenestrated" just means "with lots of little holes,"so highly fenestrated is...well...lacy-looking.)<br />
<br />
Me: *Digs into poop with some sticks and extracts the jawbone and skull frag. [Though the poo was fairly fresh, the bones weren't actually covered in shit, so don't go all freaking out here. In fact, they still had little fragments of tissue attached. I bet their high fat content keeps them pretty separate from the other digestive stuffs]* I just so happened to have a collecting bag in my pocket.<br />
<br />
My Lips: "ALL TEH PREVIOUS INFORMATION that went through my brain"<br />
<br />
Guys, I've turned into my mom. Except without as much Latin. Does this make me a Protestant scientist? DISCUSS.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Not Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-17350121982956474192012-05-25T02:33:00.000-07:002012-05-25T02:34:04.097-07:00Be what you want would want.........but only if that's also what you want.<br />
<br />
Yes, I know you leagues of adoring fans are thinking, "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, HANNAH?!" Trust me. It makes way more sense than a lot of the shit I hear around my job all day. Or think.<br />
<br />
My awesome friend Erica ran the Western Costume Spring Western Costume<a href="http://westerncostumeco.blogspot.com/"> Spring Yard Sale</a> and it got featured in <a href="http://www.laweekly.com/slideshow/the-western-costume-companys-spring-cleaning-sale-36846740/">a piece</a> by LA Weekly. Also, there is a photo of me wearing an awesome hat that actually turned out to have structurally weak spots at the crown and thus my head got a little sunburned.<br />
<br />
<u>Boil Update:</u><br />
A while ago, I decided to try the cold-water maceration technique for defleshing specimens. My results from this test are as follows:<br />
1. Small bones are even smaller than you think. Think coffee filter, not 1/16" screen.<br />
2. They weren't kidding about the smell.<br />
<br />
In other exciting news, the other day I had a student say to me, "You know you've chosen the right major when it's okay to bring dead animals to school." ....I passed a squirrel this morning, but I would have had to do a major loop to come back around to get it. Now I'm kind-of regretting I didn't.<br />
Somehow we're starting to edge towards having a zooarchaeology collection. Somehow I'm starting to learn stuff.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Not Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-30797195049175664042012-03-11T23:36:00.002-07:002012-03-11T23:36:55.708-07:00It's Computers All the Way DownIt's clear that the only time I really blog is when I'm trying to avoid writing something else. Right now I'm trying to figure out how to write a professional e-mail to people who actually want to hire me. How does one say, "I have another offer. What are you willing to bid?" without sounding like an asshole? Also how does one say, "Yes. I would be willing to take on managing your field lab. <i>I</i> don't think I'm qualified, but clearly you do, which is adding to my sense of self-worth and encouraging me to milk you for all I can"?<br />
<br />
In other news, Mammoth season has started again. We went out yesterday and cleaned up the site and took some auger samples of the marine stratum. At least, that's what was supposed to be happening. I don't know what ACTUALLY happened because I spent the entire day organizing sandbags. It was glorious.<br />
<br />
We have a large number of sandbags full of dirt from the excavation. When we put the dirt in, we wrote the provenience (ie what unit it came from/what was it associated with) on the bag in sharpie marker. Unfortunately, sun and heat wreak havoc on low grade plastics, and the bags have been outside for a YEAR, so even though they were under a tarp, the provenience on a whole bunch of bags got completely bleached off. There were also bags that still had traces of writing, but I had to sit there and puzzle out what the hell they said and then re-label them. I was in hog heaven. No one bothered me and I was moving sandbags. The only downside is that I don't have the faintest idea what actually got done on the site.<br />
<br />
It's too bad it's horribly unprofessional to send a tl;dr synopsis of the situation.<br />
<br />
Be Seeing YouNot Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-42610670529929693312012-02-21T00:17:00.003-08:002012-02-21T00:17:55.322-08:00Why I Am Not QualifiedHey guys! (...is anyone still reading this? If you are, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU??!!!) Remember that student who wanted me to write her a recommendation? Well turns out that ACTUALLY she put me down as a reference and I have to fill out this questionnaire about whether she's qualified to get into a program. The kicker is that 1.I don't have any idea what exactly this program IS, and 2)It's asking me for assessments I can't make.<br />
<br />
So, in true educator fashion, I proceeded to IGNORE IT FOR TWO WEEKS.<br />
<br />
Now I'm forcing myself to sit down and write what will probably amount to about 100 words.<br />
<br />
Except instead of writing that, I'm writing a blog post.Not Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-23442651393982993932011-12-02T21:51:00.000-08:002011-12-02T21:51:50.118-08:00This:<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8z-ZRqfH5C1tRjS5rBg3n_lp10QUODnB0NnfPKrAqD7uhkWI9onWSTxgtxjZdBSQEXpHobOCCUEO3Ncom1DPT-i1F-Ujbrj9ngGl7lUcaFNzVmUY7j5MeOEmdhqsMNZpSlSBal2rUZ7nz/s1600/tumblr_lumgtfbSDx1qzmopno1_500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8z-ZRqfH5C1tRjS5rBg3n_lp10QUODnB0NnfPKrAqD7uhkWI9onWSTxgtxjZdBSQEXpHobOCCUEO3Ncom1DPT-i1F-Ujbrj9ngGl7lUcaFNzVmUY7j5MeOEmdhqsMNZpSlSBal2rUZ7nz/s400/tumblr_lumgtfbSDx1qzmopno1_500.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">That is all. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Be Seeing You.</div>Not Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-78344526580389186772011-11-29T01:45:00.000-08:002011-11-29T01:45:23.014-08:00I suppose this means I'll have to finish the Tele-TARDIS seriesRe=watched a bunch of Doctor Who for the first time since I initially saw it. Freaked out a little when <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oV6efwQPdS4">THIS</a> happened.<br />
<br />
Be Seeing You.Not Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-62471978720477264422011-11-29T01:31:00.000-08:002011-11-29T01:31:50.486-08:00Statement of Purpose, Take 1.<!--StartFragment--> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">I sent off my first application today. In case all three of you who read this blog were wondering, here's what I came up with to explain what the hell I want to study:</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">I am interested in studying taphonomy as an integrated process of interacting ecological systems that are driven by biological, physical, and temporal conditions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Biochemistry and ecological biology in particular inform my approach to forensic anthropology, so though my interest is focused on the breakdown and decay of the dead body I am also curious about how this process interacts with the surrounding environment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think of the process of decomposition as the discrete microenvironment or ecosystem of the body that was produced during life losing homeostasis and reintegrating with the surrounding (macro) environment.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">Traditionally, forensic investigators have focused on specific facets of the taphonomic process (e.g. entomology, toxicology, anthropology, etc.) with less emphasis on quantifying these processes as an integrated ecological system. Micro systems (chemical changes, bacterial activity, entomological life cycles) focus on the discrete body or portions thereof, while macro-environmental systems such as climate, weather, and animal scavenging transform and engage the surrounding ecosystem as well as the body itself. No one system acts in a vacuum, and the state of the remains reflects the interaction of multiple systems.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am interested in examining these system interactions and how such crossover affects the forensic record. Recent research in the field has begun to take this quantitative holistic approach, but much work remains to be done. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">Though the taphonomic process is by no means confined to our species, and I strongly believe that investigators should be familiar with faunal taphonomy, I am attracted to the field of forensic taphonomy because it represents a junction between science and the American legal system.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I firmly believe in the idea of the “citizen scientist:" that is, the concept that any individual,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>even those without formal scientific training, can, with a minimum of instruction, understand and appreciate given scientific concepts and processes and the reasonable interpretation thereof.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">Though science plays an essential role in contemporary forensic investigations and legal cases, it sometimes becomes a liability in the courtroom where investigators and jurors may get bogged down in overly technical jargon and an excess of details. The validity of our criminal justice system relies on the assumption that the jury is making an informed decision. Decomposition is fascinating simply from an ecological standpoint, and understanding the taphonomic process may improve our comprehenstion of bioscience in general, but the science is of limited value to the legal community if jurors do not understand and accept the validity of the evidence. Taphonomy is an extremely complex topic, yet it can be presented in very basic terms. Many aspects of taphonomic investigation are not yet commonly presented as evidence in the courtroom, but that will likely change in the near future, and we will need to account for a gap in public appreciation and comprehension of taphonomic science.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Closing this gap presents a valuable opportunity to enhance the public understanding of the basic tenets of the science and to foster legal decisions that are as well-informed as possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My experience in theater and visual arts has shown me the power of creative presentation. I am confident that with a little directed effort, we can establish guidelines for presenting evidence that will make taphonomic science fully intelligible to any jury.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;">That's right, bitches! I WANT TO DO EVERYTHING EVER.</div><!--EndFragment-->Not Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-2226904764870275582011-10-15T18:11:00.000-07:002011-10-15T18:11:11.795-07:00Because I DidI decided to add hyperlinks to that previous post and found something by Steve Wozniak that talks about the <a href="http://www.atariarchives.org/deli/homebrew_and_how_the_apple.php">early days of Silicon Valley</a>. It's pretty great. That dude totally reminds me of Matthias the Mouse from the Redwall series.Not Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-82385634549772345232011-10-14T01:02:00.000-07:002011-10-14T01:02:16.275-07:00Popol VuhIn a few weeks I'm going to a memorial service. It's been put together by a bunch of ex-NeXTies, so I can only imagine how intensely nerdy this might be.<br />
<br />
Speaking of nerdy, somehow I've ended up teaching a friggin' zooarchaeology unit. I only realized this yesterday, so now I have to scramble and get some sort of vaguely coherent reference material together. Like, basic stuff. Basic bone biology, <a href="http://www.angelfire.com/mo2/animals1/taxonomy.html">basic animal taxonomy</a>. Basic directional terminology. I grew up in a biology household, and all the work I've done on this collection so far has been with a woman who is totally down with scientific classification and identification and bone formation and all that stuff. Turns out, THIS IS NOT STANDARD.<br />
<br />
Me:"Have you ever used a field guide?"<br />
Student:"I've seen some before. They were really big." *implication that they were too terrifying to use*<br />
Me (inside my brain): "<a href="http://www.homestarrunner.com/interview.html">Oh...this is gonna be painful."</a><br />
<br />
Bone cleaning is all well and good, but you really shouldn't be doing it without knowing what you're looking at. I will FORCE the learning on them. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!<br />
Oh? You want access to this raccoon boiling session? 1. What the hell is wrong with you, weirdo? 2. You have to LEARN STUFF first!!!<br />
<br />
....Now if only I knew what I should be teaching. Did I mention that I've never taken a zooarchaeology class? Nor have I taken any kind of osteology class...EVER. I am so not qualified to be doing this. I forget that I have actually taken shit tonnes of biology classes and have a fair amount of hands on experience and also, unlike these students, apparently, I know how to use a book. Or even *gasp* several books AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!<br />
<br />
Sorry. I realize that these people are really young and almost certainly haven't had the same sort of access to information as I have always had. Gonna go out on a limb (ha!) and say that they probably don't have horse bones in the back yard....or a deer skull on the TV. <br />
<br />
The best part is that right now we're working on (half of) a brown pelican. This is the first bird I've done, so it's all new and exciting!!! (read: I haven't the faintest idea what the fuck I'm doing) Fortunately we live in the future and I have the interwebs at my disposal....though it's surprisingly difficult to find a good example of a pelican skeleton online. What I <i>have</i> learned that birds skeletons are all WILDLY DIFFERENT so even the reference bird skeleton pictures I have are only sort-of useful since the pelican differs in many specifics. Thank you class Aves for making this not easy. Have YOU ever Googled "brown pelican phalanges"?<br />
<br />
Other winning moment today:<br />
Student:"Oh! You're on Twitter?!"<br />
Me: "Yes." *changes subject* No, you do not get my Twitter username. It's pretty fucking easy to track me down.<br />
<br />
Did I mention that I got asked to write a letter of recommendation? I really tried to persuade her that I was not the best person to do that since, you know, I have ZERO QUALIFICATIONS. No dice. Apparently in her world I count as a legitimate "academic advisor" or some shit. We're doomed.<br />
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Be Seeing You.Not Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-10458385652677863402011-10-07T00:59:00.000-07:002011-10-15T18:05:40.500-07:00Ap-pap-pap-pap-pap-pap-pap-pap-licationsI'm having issues properly articulating my feelings about Steve Jobs dying. It feels a little like the death of a second cousin twice removed or however you wish to define that guy you met once at a family gathering and continued to hear about over the years through the grapevine. <br />
<br />
The cousin that was a genius with a reality distortion field. Yeah, I hear that he did act like a real jerk much of the time, and that was kind-of part and parcel with the whole deal.<br />
<br />
I hear people sneer at "Mac fanboys" and Macs a lot. All I can think, every single time, is "Do you like the internet? Do you happen to know <a href="http://info.cern.ch/">what kind of system it was invented on</a>? Oh, you've never heard of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NeXT">NeXT</a>? GET THE FUCK OFF MY LAWN."<br />
<br />
I grew up alongside the Mac OS. I believe it was the ][gs (but I'm not positive, forgot to ask my dad, and can't find the answer after a desultory search of the Interwebs), but one of the early systems had a recording of Steve talking about how awesome this new computer was and stuff. That's not important. What IS important is that this was the sample in a sound editing program. Basic stuff, like the ability to copy one short part of dialogue (like, oh say, the "pap" sound out of "applications") and then re-insert it a whole bunch of times so instead of a smooth speech, the word sounded more like "apapapapapapapapapap...lications." Not the most complex edit in the world, but to a young girl, it was HILARIOUS. Also then apparently I recorded something that started with me saying "Hello Mr. Computer..."<br />
<br />
When I say I'm a child of Silicon Valley, I don't just mean location. In fact, we didn't move over the hill until I was 8. Before then we lived over on the coast in Montara, which was full of all sorts of weirdos. <a href="http://www.theapplemuseum.com/index.php?id=51">Jef Raskin</a> lived a few houses down from my parents before he moved into a classy house over in Pacifica (and by "classy" I mean "not falling apart and really kind of sketchy in an endearing way like the great majority of houses in Montara"). One aspect of the early computer industry that I think a lot of people either forget or don't know is that it was a originally a bunch of completely crazy nerdy weirdos who did this stuff for fun. My dad went to the <a href="http://www.atariarchives.org/deli/homebrew_and_how_the_apple.php">Homebrew Computer Club</a> meetings at SLAC (though he wasn't at the one where the Steves introduced the Apple and doesn't actually remember seeing Jobs there...though I pointed out that it was a lot of super crazy brilliant weirdos in one small space and maybe he blended in). My mom went to a few of the meetings and mostly remembers that someone would pull out something like a home-made logic board with a bunch of wires and a display of lights that would flash 888888 and everyone else would get super excited and crowd around it. When my parents went to the West Coast Computer Faire (where they met the arguably psychotic <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Draper">Captain Crunch</a>), they had their picture taken and then it was digitized and printed out using <a href="http://www.codeproject.com/KB/web-image/AsciiArt/ASCIIArt2.gif">ASCII symbols</a>. We're talking CUTTING EDGE SHIT here!!!<br />
<br />
The only time I remember formally meeting Steve Jobs was at a NeXT Christmas party. My sister must have been 9 or 10 and was not at all pleased about having to wear a nice clothes. In fact, she insisted on bringing jeans with us in the car (I assume so she could change into them afterwards). Anyway, at some point during the party, Steve arrived and my parents introduced us to him. The man was wearing a full-on Canadian leisure suit: beat-up jeans and a denim jacket. As soon as we were done talking with him and he walked off, my sister turned around, went out to the car and changed into her jeans.<br />
<br />
I don't care how iconic the silver haired guy in a black turtleneck became. Every time anyone mentions Steve Jobs, the image I get in my mind is of that dark-haired dude in the jeans and jean jacket at a company Christmas party. That, and a voice saying "apapapapapapapapapapapap...."<br />
<br />
Be Seeing You.Not Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-2631886200271900922011-09-23T23:34:00.000-07:002011-09-23T23:41:26.809-07:00"I happen to have some Paleo-bond at home."<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Last night I was a foolish fool without eye protection and I sprayed </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 15px;"><em style="color: black; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">carburetor cleaner in my eye. To be fair, I was spraying it ON something and it was splash-back that I got in my eye, so it's way less dumb than it could be, but still. It was a pretty idiotic move.</span></em></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #222222; line-height: 15px;"><em style="color: black; font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></em></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 12px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It turns out that 2+ decades of reading safety labels has paid off because I knew exactly how one is supposed to respond to that situation. How many times have you read some variation of, "run cold water over eye for 15 minutes"?. In retrospect, I should have just gotten in the shower, but I didn't think of it at the time. I tried the sink first (extremely awkward), then the hose for a long while(it's really cool to stare down the barrel of a running hose), and then my mom kindly obliged me by running saline and water over my eye for a good 10 or so minutes. The hardest part of it wasn't so much the sensation of water directly on the eyeball as managing to not drown while attempting that. When you're running water over your eyeball with a hose or from a tap, the water splashes all over your nose and mouth. It makes it hard to breathe. We obviously need to get a lab-style eyewash sink installed. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 12px;"><br />
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 12px;">Today you can hardly tell which eye it was, so it really wasn't that bad. At the time, I did think, "Well what's the worst that could happen? I guess I could go blind in one eye. Hey, at least it's not both eyes!" Also, though this was all kinds of crazy solvents, I'm pretty sure it doesn't have anything extremely corrosive in the mix, which was good news for my sclera and friends. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 12px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 12px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Totally worth it though. I have the beginnings of my Halloween costume. Jabba is going to look repulsive. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 12px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 12px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In other news, I went into the lab for the first time since I left for Burning Man. I friggin' adore the Foothill Anthro department. School starts on Monday, so everyone there was in HOLY SHIT OMFG!!! mode which is always hilarious and amazing to witness. When I walked in, most of this writing was already on the board. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 12px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span> </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7nXLgkNAKOuk3t4FW6vvwJ86Kk9UsTmexI7OAPd7OLslisl6d8Ih-VhIhARhrRLYrSR9yipthK4Gxq0FOMxImMmda1sQJlMr_smQV3fZg-XUPGTaUQMrTFA3jJ00BJl7FXfO6AZYh-Ajh/s1600/Screen+shot+2011-09-23+at+11.25.40+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7nXLgkNAKOuk3t4FW6vvwJ86Kk9UsTmexI7OAPd7OLslisl6d8Ih-VhIhARhrRLYrSR9yipthK4Gxq0FOMxImMmda1sQJlMr_smQV3fZg-XUPGTaUQMrTFA3jJ00BJl7FXfO6AZYh-Ajh/s320/Screen+shot+2011-09-23+at+11.25.40+PM.png" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Yes, I blurred out her face because I'm paranoid about the Interwebs.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 12px;"></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgACoVQ2cQGMNLZYYb4XLEco6K2HKdX8ZZWAyQEd1LcsAWF39_gremp30_Bdo1x9D7yrg2InuwXvadzg9B7ogK_37NwP_qZNgR4ter89-1KXAYPhcG5eua1urGrX1GxVecEa1BgKYJy3K4Y/s1600/Screen+shot+2011-09-23+at+11.03.32+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="134" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgACoVQ2cQGMNLZYYb4XLEco6K2HKdX8ZZWAyQEd1LcsAWF39_gremp30_Bdo1x9D7yrg2InuwXvadzg9B7ogK_37NwP_qZNgR4ter89-1KXAYPhcG5eua1urGrX1GxVecEa1BgKYJy3K4Y/s320/Screen+shot+2011-09-23+at+11.03.32+PM.png" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">There are one or two things we need to do.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
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<div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small; line-height: 12px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">My coworkers decided that getting me into grad school was a lab goal. Two of them are looking to do PhD's, and realized they should add themselves to that list too. It's a good thing we ran out of whiteboard space, because god knows what else we would have gone into listing. Though if you're really good at reading tiny scrawl, you can see it says "dry erase"on there because it was determined that we could really use another board. </span></span></div></td></tr>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Be Seeing You.</span></div></span>Not Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-38225490044029173962011-08-23T22:10:00.000-07:002011-08-23T22:13:19.944-07:00Oh hai guys!"GONNA TAKE A LOT TO TAKE ME AWAY FROM YOUUUUUUU...."<br />
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Oh, sorry. That was just me singing along to some really quality music. I've compiled a list for my drive that combines the music we listened to in Ecuador and other random shit I've listened to compulsively on the way to Burning Man in the past. I'm giving someone a ride back to San Francisco, and by that point, I'm pretty sure it won't particularly faze her that I'm belting out bad dance music ballads, <a href="http://www.hulu.com/watch/243571/saturday-night-live-digital-short-3-way-the-golden-rule">our site song</a>, Baby Got Back, a song from the Goofy movie, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSS5dEeMX64">our other site song</a>, and dancing to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwyJkU-DOcA">some Ghanian pop music</a> and a quality selection of others. Incidentally, I'd never seen the Aben wo aha music video before. So good. Apparently when my cousin/surrogate brother (who is not actually blood related) was in Ghana, when this came on in the market, everyone put their shit down to dance, and then when the song was over, resumed normal actions. Like that scene in the Cantina, except with Daddy Lumba and Ghana and a marketplace rather than Obi Wan, Tattoine, and the most wretched hive of scum and villainy you will....Uh...I can't remember how the line ends. Clearly it's been too long since I watched Star Wars.<br />
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OKay, I'm going to go continue on some art. This is part of what my brain looks like right now (it's important that you listen to the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zp1TbLFPp8">correct soundtrack</a> (it's only :30 of bad acting before you hit the unfairly catchy tune):<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3W6FLjkjutISQE8DmS957BK686ZAfD4uM9JVGsoveADX0aB9V5ruLdu5H8lV2prWf068y6gmYNeGg_br1OvuuYfa9k35QjIFw13I31ut6n_WCWgC0ZoS2m7tRHm7veX14IpdQcHdIsfq5/s1600/Photo+on+2011-08-23+at+22.02+%25232.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3W6FLjkjutISQE8DmS957BK686ZAfD4uM9JVGsoveADX0aB9V5ruLdu5H8lV2prWf068y6gmYNeGg_br1OvuuYfa9k35QjIFw13I31ut6n_WCWgC0ZoS2m7tRHm7veX14IpdQcHdIsfq5/s400/Photo+on+2011-08-23+at+22.02+%25232.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Also, I learned drinking games for Roxanne and Thunderstruck. There was a lot of drinking on that trip. Well, lots for me. Mostly because there were no other intoxicants. Not that I would ever indulge in other intoxicants. Except chocolate.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuREbDC675jFsip7MHfmtSmTZzJFqryEAE72iaT_zPWKnvuriLFpnFPQC6ZeSZvnb5qhYM634Tjcm-aInUTYLdNn7TStDzEKo_YIaeMQ2Wr_QYl_axStJdKYn-ZFOSKB0T7ruiYOrx2rBW/s1600/Photo+on+2011-08-23+at+22.03.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhuREbDC675jFsip7MHfmtSmTZzJFqryEAE72iaT_zPWKnvuriLFpnFPQC6ZeSZvnb5qhYM634Tjcm-aInUTYLdNn7TStDzEKo_YIaeMQ2Wr_QYl_axStJdKYn-ZFOSKB0T7ruiYOrx2rBW/s320/Photo+on+2011-08-23+at+22.03.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Also I had my nails done. Only after it was done, I realized that the color would not match with my dress for the wedding. Then I decided to go with it. That also means I can wear my maroon shoes and not bother getting new ones.<br />
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</tbody></table>Be Seeing YouNot Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-366502431022623269.post-48287887770120158702011-08-14T21:13:00.000-07:002011-08-14T21:13:33.466-07:00"The Technology's Taking Over!!"I got derailed and still haven't even started Fire Monks. I like that I'm procrastinating on reading a book about BuddhismNot Actually Louis Wainhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04022807411475874363noreply@blogger.com0