An Interesting Personal Lesson in Ethnography: Part 1

As an anthropologist, I try to comprehend individuals from their own point of view, view situations with an impartial eye, and understand social constructs/societies without passing judgment. However, as a female and a human being, you can bet your ass I judge shit. I have exceedingly strong opinions, particularly when something or someone threatens me or mine. Particularly "mine". A threat to my person rarely upsets me as much as a threat against those I love.
My good friend is a member of a religion that, suffice to say I do not hold in high regard, not least because I believe it has had an extremely negative impact on her happiness and her life. However, she believes strongly in her faith, and I have to accept that. She's her own woman and though I don't necessarily agree, I respect her choice. This has brought me into close contact with a totally alien society that often goes against what my heart, mind, and gut tell me. I try not to interfere, but this shit just crossed the line.
To be fair, it's not the religion itself that's the issue so much as the situation it has created. In this parallel world, marriage and childbirth are completely central to a woman's place in the world. It seems an unmarried woman is regarded as worth less as a person, and though it's never explicitly stated (though in some cases, it's only just the other side of explicit) this knowledge permeates the life of every believer. By age 30, she's considered on the shelf.
It was a bit of a shock to me to find out that that concept still actually existed somewhere beyond my Regency romance novels. Srsly, guys? For reals? However, this constant denigration of the unmarried state is causing some serious issues in my friend's psyche since she is now pushing 27. It's become imperative to find a suitable partner. The catch is, he's got to be of the same religion. Now, my friend is awesome and incredibly artistically talented and open minded and intelligent: it's hard to believe that any man actually awesome enough for her wouldn't have left the church by now. In this culture that emphasizes conformity but lacks extreme mechanisms against personal defection, the pool of 'counter-culture' types is just not going to be very large.  It was thus fairly exciting when my friend started dating a guy who might actually fulfill these criteria.

Unfortunately, this man is an utter ass.

In many ways he embodies the arrogance, the blindness, and the intolerance that I find so despicable in the religion as a whole.

In Part 2 we will discuss 1)Incidents of assitude/evidence for my admittedly harsh assessment of his character, 2)Why I consider him a direct threat to my friend's well-being, 3)The ways in which his personality and this situation might fit into the larger context of the religion as a whole, 4)No, seriously guys: what universe is this dude living in?

Be Seeing You.